When a friend has a dilemma and confides in you – the immediate reaction of many is to give advice.How many of us fall into that trap and end up losing our friend because they blame us for decision that they have made.Yes we have all learnt that it is very dangerous to give advice to other adults.
Many clients come to see me wanting me to tell them what to do in tough situations.A good therapist will not give advice because every adult has the right and the power to make their own decisions about their life – after all they know themselves the best.
People come to see me, a professional, because this is what they will receive:
1. Someone who will just listen and empathise (NOT sympathise) to the tough situation you find yourself in.
2. Communicate to you the facts of the problem whilst seeking out validation from you that you are being heard and understood.
3. Challenge the framework in which you see your problem – prompting a change in perspective.
4. Validate your feelings …after all there is nothing worse when people tell you to “get over it” or ‘move on.”
5. Identify what would make you act from your own values – the things that are important to you.
6. Identify behaviours that are no longer working for you and assisting you to take very small steps to change.
7. A confidential, safe, non – judgemental environment in which to explore problems and reactions to them.
8. Encouragement to make your own decisions so you can grow as an individual.